chapter nineteen - when in rome part i

"Ally, come on, hurry up."
"I am going as fast as I can," she stammered as she tied her sneakers. How did she let herself agree to this? "Are you sure you want to do this?"
He huffed heavily, she could hear the slight frustration in his voice, "girl, stop your stalling." Michael turned to look down the hallway that ran towards the other rooms in the suite. If they didn't do it now, while no one was around, the plan would be ruined. "Yes, now come on, hurry or I'm going to leave without you."
"Okay, okay I'm ready," she came to stand next him, looking down the hall as well, making sure the coast was clear.
"Let's go before I change my mind," she threatened. Which by the way her stomach churned with anxiety it could be anytime soon. She was still uneasy and none too happy about this crazy cooked upped scheme of his. Even though she was thrilled to see he was in a better mood. Of course it was Michael, now that they were up to no good, he was definitely in better spirits and more animated than he had been the last couple of days. Even so, she still didn't think his plan was a very good one. Even if he was in 'disguise'. Actually she thought it was a really stupid and extremely dangerous idea, but there was no telling him that. No way. Once Michael's mind was made up about anything, big or small, there was no changing it. He knew what he wanted to do and when he wanted to do it. And that left her with little or no choice. He said he wanted to take her out. So it was either going with him or staying in the hotel worrying about him. So here she was dressed and prepared to sneak out with him. In her mind thinking it would be better for her mental state to be with him and know what he was up to then to be left waiting for his return.

Michael pulled the suite door open slowly, peeking his head out he looked down both sides of the hotel corridor to see if it was occupied by anyone. He smiled to himself happily. It was quiet and perfectly empty. This just might work! He grabbed her by the hand tightly, "girl, come on. The coast is clear."
He started to crack up, giggling like a little boy at his own sneakiness, "hehe hhhurry."
Oh my god... here we go.
She didn't put up a fight or try to resists his grasp as she followed him in to the hallway, but she gave one final attempt on trying to make him change his mind. "Michael seriously, you know you really should be resting," she admonished, feeling like a school teacher chastising a student who was misbehaving.
He chuckled as he led her towards the back exit at the end of the hall, "girl, you are such a scaredy cat, you know that."
"I am not, I'm just thinking of your voice for your show tonight,” she huffed. “But will you listen to me? Noooo!” She complained more to herself than to him.
"First of all, let me worry about that," Michael quipped as they entered the stairwell.
"And second of all, you’re right, I'm not listening. Now let's you and me see the sights!"

She really wasn't lying. She meant what she said. She really was thinking about his upcoming concert tonight. Well actually more specifically she was thinking about his voice.  Michael hadn't performed live in almost three weeks, when he finished his last show in Minneapolis at the beginning of May. Yet somewhere between their side trip to Cannes and their arrival in Rome he had developed an acute case of laryngitis. It started almost as soon as they landed in Rome a few days ago. Back in Cannes there was no hint of any irritation or strain on his voice.  The time in Cannes had been perfectly wonderful for them both. After attending the festivals premier of his movie, Moonwalker, they enjoyed a leisurely drive through the bustling celebrity packed city.  Allison smiled to herself as she watched all the activity from within the quiet confines of the limousine, knowing the most famous of them all was right there with her. The old city was filled with aged buildings and winding streets with lots of little shops, cafes and restaurants. Each and every one of them looked to be filled to capacity.  They left the main square and the driver steered the limousine along the famous Promenade de la Croisette back in the direction towards their hotel.


The Promenade skirted along Mediterranean Sea, that was alive with colour, ablaze in lights and neon hues. A Parisian version of Vegas she thought. The boats and yachts in the harbor, the islands off in the distance, and the people in designer clothing and so many fancy cars, it's was rich beyond belief and completely overwhelming to the senses. Michael never said a word as she commented excitedly about the drive through the city.

A couple hours later,  as the traditional fireworks lit up the night sky, they arrived back at the Hotel Martinez, where Michael finally did make love to her. His hands seeking, finding and teasing her as soon as they set foot in their room. In one breath he told her how gorgeous her dressed looked and in the next he was pulling away the silky sash, undressing her, touching and caressing her tenderly with his finger tips. In the moonlit room he whispered in her ear how beautiful and sexy she was to him, how much he wanted to feel her, touch her, taste her and make love to her. She had been yearning to feel his touch since their arrival earlier in the day and her body burn and ached to reciprocate its desires. He quickly undressed and kissed his way up her warm body to settle in between her spread legs and she instinctively wrapped them around him to pull him closer. She kissed him deeply, probing and leaving no doubt that her desire burned as intensely and as hotly as his. She moaned, telling him how much she wanted him and how she needed to feel him, gasping loudly as he sank himself solidly into her with a low growl of a groan. Michael was relentless and attentive to her need to feel him, bringing her to climax quickly with his slow shallow strokes, then sending her body racing skyward with deliciously long thrusts. She whimpered and melted beneath him as her body obeyed his command to respond to his. Michael's low whispered words filled her heart as his deep strokes took her over edge to come crashing down with him.

It was the next day that he initially complained to her that his throat felt tired and sore. She had told him maybe it was all the stale air from the airplane finally catching up with him. But by the first evening in Rome she could hear it in his voice. It was scratchy, rough and hoarse and noting like his usual sweet smooth tone. It probably didn't help that when their flight arrived it was damp, cool and raining. They spent a quiet evening together and retired to bed early. The next morning his tour doctor prescribed a salty solution for him to gargle with, lozenges for the irritation and pain along with the strong recommendation that he cancel his next few shows as well as any public engagements so he could rest his body and voice. But of course Michael refused. The Italy fans and press had practically lined the rain soaked streets for the entire 12 mile trek from the airport to the Lord Byron Hotel. There was no way he was going to cancel his shows. Especially not the opening shows of his European Leg.
"I can't do it," he croaked hoarsely. "I just won't." His mind made up and his word final.

So against the better wishes of his tour doctor, Frank and herself, he refused to cancel or reschedule any of his shows. He was adamant that the show would go on. There was no way he would disappoint his fans. He simply said he would rest his voice and that was that.

So instead of listening to his doctor advice and cancelling his shows, he spent the next four days practicing his own brand of 'Michael Medicine'. He gargled as directed and used the lozenges when required, during the daily rehearsals he only sang intermittently to keep time, danced very little and kept himself warm with the same down jacket she saw him wear in Florida. When out in public, he spoke in low hushed tones or not at all. And when he wasn't out in public, he used notes to talk to everyone else. Actually, make that he was used notes to talk to Allison to talk to everyone else. Which she happily agreed to, but it was interesting to say the least. First of all she could barely read his handwriting and  when he wrote, he wrote out long drawn out instructions instead of short little notes. He also started to include little random I love you's and you look sexy today that she had to try and skip over and omit when rereading his notes aloud. Which after the first could misreads she mostly managed to catch before embarrassing herself. However he always succeeded in making her blush. Making Michael doubled over with laughter saying it was fun.  But what was even crazier is that he insisted in signing each and every single note he gave her, even thought she was usually standing beside him when he wrote it and would hand it directly to her.

"Michael, you don't have to sign it you know," she scolded him shaking her head. "I know it's coming from you dork!"
"Well what if you're not here when I write it," he asked innocently.
She rolled her eyes at him knowing he was being silly, "but, you're handing it right to me Michael."
But he only laughed and he kept right on doing it. But now with more flourish and exaggerated signatures with hearts and stars and funny little names. She chuckled to herself. How on earth could she even be mad? Only Michael could find amusement in something so serious as losing his voice.

The only time he really spoke for any length of time during his self imposed four day voice exile was yesterday. Yesterday they had traveled to a special children's hospital, the Bambini-Gesu Children’s Hospital, in central Rome. The hospital was a very well known research hospital, the biggest and one of only three in Italy.
As always, Michael was in the know of any hospitals, care centres or orphanages' in the surrounding areas he was performing. Seemingly knowing that there were children in need of his special brand of healing. But of course it also didn't hurt that Michael always had his assistants scout out these places well before hand so that he could fit them into his tour stops. Michael explained to her that it was important to give back. That his talent was God's gift and he was so lucky to have that gift and he wanted to share his joy with the most pure and innocent of god's creatures. He smiled warmly as he spoke, saying it was the least he could do.

On ride over to the hospital Michael told her that the hospital specialized in cancer and leukemia research and warned her that many of the children were very ill, some of them terminal. He sounded do calm about seeing the children, but it only made her more uneasy than she already was. She was already a nervous wreck almost from the time they left the suite this morning. Michael hadn't noticed, but she fidgeted absentmindedly in the seat beside him. This would be her first time out in "public" with him. She didn't know what to think or what would happen. Granted, she was going with her photography equipment and would be taking pictures. It wasn't a date or a dinner atmosphere that they were stepping out to, but she couldn't help but wondered if anyone would notice her presence there. Would anyone question who she was... and more importantly, if they did, what would happen and what would they do? Michael and her never did talk about what the reaction of the press and the fans might be. They had never gotten that far in their "couple" discussions. But now Allison wish they had at least discussed something, anything, so she knew what to expect.
Suddenly, she felt Michael's hand on hers and she moved her eyes from the floor to his hand then raised them to meet his. His warm brown eyes locked onto hers. Of course he knew she was nervous. He could read her easily. It hadn't escaped him that this was their first time out together without the forethought of hiding it. He leaned in sideways towards her, pressing a warm lingering kiss against her cheek, "don't worry Ally," he murmured against her skin as he squeezed her hands.
"There won't be hardly any press there."
"What," she questioned him turning to face him. She couldn't believe that there wouldn't be the normal regular flurry of activity that seemed to accompany his every move and every outing he made. Why would the Italian press be any different? They were all over the airport when he arrived and there was practically a full barricade around the hotel since the day they checked in. It was a given that the press and fans where everywhere he was. So what did he mean?
"Really and how could you possible know that?"
"I know that because it is not a big story for them." His voice suddenly sounded tired.
"But isn't everything a big story with you?" She smiled slightly him, knowing she was boasting his ego.
But Michael didn't return her smile, he only looked at her seriously. "Girl, me doing good is not a story they want to write about." He sighed heavily, "they only want scandal and gossip and today won't give them that."
“Oh,” she responded her voice barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry Michael.” It sounded so inadequate but she didn't know what else to say.
He kept his eyes locked on hers and when he spoke his voice was somber but resolute, “no it is okay. I wouldn't want them there for anything. Today it is about the children. I want them to know I am there and that is all that matters." He said it with such heartfelt conviction she knew it was how he really felt.When they arrived there really was no one about. A few fans that had heard rumours, but he was right, there was no press.  

Once inside the hospital she watched Michael move from child to child. Calm, caring and smiling as he spoke to each one he came in contact with, giving them his full undivided attention. Each and every child would light up instantly the moment Michael came near. It was like his presence was giving them a special inner strength, a light, empowering them to feel better, if only for that moment. It was incredible to watch the interaction between them both. Michael seem to light up with joy, as well, just being with them. Allison for the most part hung back, taking satisfaction in watching Michael and the children. However she kept busy too.

She had a special task she needed to complete. As promised to a certain mega-superstar, Allison had her camera aimed and ready to capture the special moments of the day. She took dozen's of pictures of the children and staff and pictures of Michael with the children and staff too. It was wonderful and it made it easy to forget her nervousness about being there. She had a job to do and a job she wanted to do well.  Not to mention everyone seemed elated that Michael had brought his own personal photographer that they were happy to pose for her. Michael was happy as always and the children clamored to have their picture taken with him hoping they could get a copy too.

Even some of the staff asked to have their pictures taken with him. At one point during the visit a young nurse spoke to her in broken English, saying he was very beautiful.  She smiled at the nurse. She could agree more. He was shining as he signed autographs and gave away candy, pictures and records to the children. They spent almost 3 hours at the hospital, before Frank came and told them it was time to go. Just before leaving Michael promised  a donation of £100,000 pounds to the hospital.

She also overheard another one say, "Bella anima amante questo Uomo ha," - which the young nurse said translated to, 'this man has a beautiful soul'.

Allison was elated that she got to share this time with him and she knew how much Michael enjoyed being in the company of children. The afternoon couldn't had been more perfect, except for when they were leaving. Michael was disappointed it was time to go and the children didn’t want them to leave either, but that turned out to be the least of their problems. As they prepared to leave, Bill explained that the press had shown up and were now firmly encamped outside the hospital exits. Michael security was already in action and they had waited until they were ready to leave to explain the situation in detail. The van had been moved to the back where it was easier to get the vehicle closer to the exit. There was a bit of commotion and excitement at first but within a few minutes they were all lined up to exit out the back. Allison's stomach stirred uneasily, but it was all moving so fast there wasn't hardly any time for her to get nervous. One minute they were scurrying quickly down the back hospital corridors with Bill barking out instructions and in the next Michael grasped her hand tightly and turned to speak to her, "come girl, it's now or never."  His voice sounding light and poised and she nodded. As the James pushed the door open to lead them out she swallowed and squeezed her eyes tight hoping the 30 feet or so feet to the van was as close at it looked.

It was like wadding through a whirlpool of noise and sound. First it was just loud with screams then it seemed muted and covered. As they dashed to the van she picked up a few words the words swirling around her.

Michael, Michael, we love you!

Smile Michael, smile!

Michael, look over here!

We love you Michael!

There were fans and press all mixed together pressing in towards them. Suddenly she swayed hard to the left as the crowd pushed in against them. Michael's hand tighten firmly around hers pulling her forward. She heard him call her name and she began to feel the first strains of panic that they might not  make it. Then it was over. She was in the van, Bill and Frank followed, with the door shutting loudly behind them as she fell into the seat beside Michael.

"Ally, you okay," he asked still holding her hand. Allison jumped at the dull thumping sounds of fans hitting the sides of the van. She looked shocked and his gaze was concerned. That wasn't what he was expecting. No one but a few of his closes staff knew he was coming here today. This shouldn't of happened. He would have planned for more security or separate vans if he had known the press and fans were going to find him here. And how did they know so quickly? Michael chastised himself mentally for being so careless their first time out together. He wouldn't let that happen again.

She looked up breathless her eyes focusing on his, "ah yeah, I'm okay."  Her heart was still racing. "Holy mother that was crazy."

"Girl, I'm so sorry," he released her hands to rub up and down her arms checking to see if she was hurt or injured. "Are you hurt, are you okay?" His voice was laced with worry. He would never forgive himself if she was hurt by something that should have been avoided.

"Michael, I'm fine really, just a little surprised."

"I thought I heard you scream."
"Me?" She managed a small laugh, "I think that was your adoring fans." She took a deep breath and looked out the window as the van started to move. "Although I don't think you would of heard me if I did anyway. I couldn't hear anything but screaming."

He gave her a relived look, "I am just glad you're okay." He looked up at Bill and Frank who were seated directly across from them, "we won't let this happen again." His voice was stern, "if you are travelling with me, we will make it safe."

Allison had a funny feeling he was talking more to Bill and Frank than he was to her. She tried to read the looks between the 3 men, but got nothing. Michael seemed more than annoyed that this situation had happened. Not that anyone would have thought it would. Even he said himself said no press would be there. So maybe he was mad at himself for being so naive about it. There was an uncomfortable tension that she had never felt before between the three men. Nobody said another word and she thought it was best not to say anything as well, but later when they were alone she was going to see what he meant.

The rest of the afternoon and evening they stayed in the hotel and he tired to rest and relax as prescribed. But watching Michael try to keep still was like watching a kernel of corn on a hot plate. He fussed, he fiddled, he bounced around ready to pop at any moment. It was obvious he had something on his mind. She still hadn't asked him what he meant by his comments in van, mostly because he seemed like he was still irritated about the whole thing. She didn't understand why, I mean what did he expect, he was Michael FREAKING Jackson. She just wished it hadn't of happened so suddenly. But later that night, as she readied for bed after a long hot bath, she heard Michael meeting with Bill and Frank in front area of their suite.

"Honestly, Michael we don't know how they found out."

"Bill you're the head of my security, if you don't know then who does?"
"Mike, calm down," Frank interjected trying to cool Michael's temper . "No one was hurt."

"This time," Michael practically yelled. "This time, what about next time!?"
Allison was shocked. She had never heard him talk so strongly to either Bill or Frank before. He must be really upset and he certainly sounded mad. But why? Frank was right, no one was hurt and how could they know?
"Mike," Bill started to speak.
"No Bill, look," Michael interrupted, his voice calmer. "Only a few people knew we were going today and even fewer knew that Ally would be with us. Either someone let it slip by mistake or someone let it slip on purpose. Either way, I don't want it to happen again."
And with that the conversation was finished, she didn't hear anything else until a few minutes later when the suite door shut closed.

After she heard the men leave she discarded her robe and changed into her favourite pajama top and slipped into bed quickly, deciding to not let him know she had overheard the entire conversation. She didn't bother to bring the subject up again until the next morning.

She waited until after breakfast as she sipped on her second cup of tea before she questioned him about it. Making sure she purposefully left out what she had heard last night. Surprising Michael was quite open about it. He explained that no one was supposed to know about the trip to the hospital.

"I don't object to the fans being there, or even the press," he added. "That is part of the job. But it was supposed be just us and it was supposed to be safe."

He dropped the paper her was reading and got up to walk towards the large window. He moved the sheers aside to look out towards St. Peter’s Cathedral, "but I tell you, if I'd known it was gonna be like that, we woulda been in separate vans."

She chuckled, "Michael it wasn't that bad, really." He really was making it bigger than it was. She had been scared for a moment, but then everything was fine.

He nodded absentmindedly lost in his own thoughts, "no not this time, but what about next time girl? People don't know their own strength. The crowds get real excited and hysterical. At times they push and pull and grab and it can get very bad real fast and very painful. People get hurt."

He turned back towards her, "you know maybe you should always travel with James in as separate van."
"Uh-no way, I am so not doing that," she immediate shot down his suggestion.
"Well Ally, I'm am ju-"
"No Michael," she interrupted. There was no way she would travel around without him when he was so close to her. What was the point of her even being here then?

She walked over to him slowly and took his hands, "I am here with you. Like you wanted. Like I wanted. I want to be able to be with you."

"Girl, please," his voice begged her and his eyes pleaded with hers. "You know I want you here Ally. You know that."
He brought her hands to his lips and kissed them warmly, "It won't be all the time, just when I think it is best. I need to know you are safe. I don't want to have to worry."
She sighed. Well now what  was she going to say? No I want you to worry?? Dammit him and his stupid crazily gorgeous brown eyes.

 "Tsk Michael, fine okay," she nodded then gave him a pout.

"Really girl?"

"But only when you think it's really necessary and we talk about it first."
"I promise." He gave her a genuine smile.
"AND if we can't talk about it in advance you have Bill or Mary tell me... nobody else."

"It's a deal," he moved to kiss her lips.

She pulled her head back, "I mean it Michael. No just saying do what I say coz you said it AND..."
"Okay, okay..." he started to laugh. "I think I got all your stipulated AND's."
"This is not funny, I wanna be with you."

"I want you to be with me too, but I want you safe first."

"If that will help you to not worry, then I am on board."
"Well it is that or maybe…" his voice drifted off and his eyes twinkled as he turned his head to look back out the window.

"What?"

He didn't answer her but only released her hands and placed them on the windowsill.

"Michael.... what are you thinking?"

“Maybe we go we just go out ourselves.” He said it like it was already decided.

Michael then leaned out and waved to the fans below causing them to cheer louder.

"Ah… wait a minute, what do you mean ourselves?"He turned smiling at her as he started to walk towards the main closet by the front door, "like we did in Hong Kong."
Allison trailed in behind his long strides, "ummmm, Michael Hong Kong was different. It's not the same thing."
"How so," he asked. He was now rummaging through the coats hanging in the closet barely hearing her reasoning.
"Because you weren't touring and nobody really knew you were there."
"Of course they did. We were filming two TV specials remember."
She let out a frustrated groan, he was not hearing her at all, "I mean in general Michael, the fans, your fans didn't know you were there."
"Well anyway, after yesterday, I think I can make sure we're safe and together," he replied grinning as he pulled out a full length raincoat and set it down on the chair by the front door.
She grabbed his arm to stop him from moving, "Michael stop for a second, listen to me. What are you talking about?"
He cupped her face and bent forward and kissed the end of her nose.
"Girl, don't you see," he beamed brightly. "I'm gonna take you out in disguise." Then he turned and walked back to the bedroom to assemble his outfit.
He is gonna take me out? In disguise? Oh... crap!
Finally understanding what he meant, she followed him, far less convinced of his brilliant plan.
Maybe it was just her, but somehow the idea of walking around with Michael in one of his funny disguises while the entire city knew he was there didn't strike her as a good idea.

To be continued...